Male Anchor: We have just received breaking news. The President of the Washington Jewish Republic was struck by artillery fire from the New York Liberation Brigade while inspecting the front lines. The North American Indian Federation has called on all North American nations to exercise restraint. Reports indicate that the North American Sixty-Nation Summit, originally scheduled for early next month in the San Francisco Concession, will be postponed to the end of the month.

Female Anchor: Ambassadors from Londonistan, the East Berlin Democratic Republic, and the Kingdom of Sikkim have presented their credentials.

Male Anchor: We interrupt with breaking news: China's first shipment of humanitarian aid has arrived in Marseille, capital of Provence, and was warmly received by local residents.

Female Anchor: The demolition project at the Roman Colosseum has drawn controversy. A professor of feng shui at the University of Naples Capital claims that the Parthenon — constructed in the late nineteenth century as a model of Greek neo-classical art — successfully transformed medieval mythological motifs into reality and has attracted large numbers of tourists. He argues that this replica structure, built by Mussolini, should be preserved.

Male Anchor: Tonight at nine o'clock, our network will broadcast the documentary Archaeology of a Roman Han Dynasty Officials' Cemetery. We welcome all viewers to tune in.